Business, Politics

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Habit 6 > Synergize

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People By Stephen R. Covey

[The following is a synopsis of The 7 Habits]

HABIT 6: Synergize

When people come up with a solution that is better than what they both wanted alone: that’s called synergy. It’s not the same as compromise.

“Find a new and better solution”: You want to go on vacation at a lake to go fishing/but you want to go on vacation in B. You could be into martyrdom: they win, you lose. OR you could be into authoritarianism OR you could agree to communicate.

You have to say: let’s find a solution that we would both feel good about. I understand why you want to go on vacation to see your ill father but understand that I want to take the kids fishing as well. A mutual understanding will not always be lose/win, we create something that is not necessarily compromise. You could agree to go to a lake near her father. It’s Win/Win because you have satisfied both interests & your relationship is strengthen by this decision.

Compromise means 1 + 1 = 1.5
Legal, industrial disputes end up as compromise.
But synergy says that is more than the sum of their parts.

Example: I want the window closed, She wants the window open.

Why do you want the window closed?

A: Papers are being blown around.

Why do you want the window open?

A: Fresh air.

What can we do?

Open the window in another room.

[{The key point}]: Is that when people communicate with respect, then they can come up with solutions that work for everyone, and it is better than the sum of its parts. Canada is an example of a society that is not compromise but a synergy.

You can make a better alternative by being creative. Get deep in 4,5,6 AND use your creative capacities to produce opportunities to Win/Win.

Business, Politics

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Habit 5 > Seek to Understand Before Being Understood

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
By Stephen R. Covey


[The following is a synopsis of The 7 Habits]

HABIT 5: Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood: If you want to interact effectively with someone, you first need to understand them. Seeking to understand before being understood is a paradigm shift because most people want to be understood. Once you feel understood, you are open, happier. You need to be empathic. Understand how the other person feels. It is so much harder to listen than it is to speak.

Don’t prescribe from your own experiences: A father says; “I don’t understand my son because he won’t listen to me.” Wrong attitude father> I already understand him because of my own autobiography. The assumption that your experience is transferable is always false.

Why People Don’t Listen: If you deeply listen to another, the risk is that you might be changed, unless you have a changeless value. People who pretend to care very little for other people’s opinions care too much about those opinions. That’s why they are not listening. They are too vulnerable and insecure about themselves.

“Let me listen to you first.” The collective monolog, dialogue of the deaf. Communicate, listening then expressing. Empathic listening: practice at night.

[IMAGINE THIS SITUATION]: I was in the hotel room, and participants were there to make a major deal. It looked as if I was going to lose the deal, however. All my eggs were in one basket. I had nothing to lose because the deal was obviously sunk, so I decided to use Habit 5: I decided to listen, and then be understood. I said let me understand your position: I really want to understand it. “I sense you want this, you worry about this, and if you don’t get this you are in danger. I understand you.” & the business man got the deal. If you meet the person on their level they will feel validated, and be understood. That is more important than the technical dimensions of the deal. Making someone feel understood….

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