Part 4: Principle 9
“Making People Glad to Do What You Want”: use intimation. Always make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest. Never snub someone; bring people together to feel inclusive. Keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behaviour:
A) Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
B) Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
C) Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
D) Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
E) Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
F) When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Part 4: Principle 8
“Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct”: people can grow and overcome incalculable strife but they need support and someone who believes in them.
Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Part 4: Principle 7
“Give A Dog A Good Name”: say that the person is a natural leader or good student etc and they will become one.
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Part 4: Principle 6
“How to Spur People On to Success”: praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit. Giving someone recognition is also positive.
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
Part 4: Principle 5
“Let the Other Person Save Face”: always let the other person save face. What a person thinks of themselves is most important.
Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
Part 4: Principle 4
“No One Likes to Take Orders”: giving orders in the form of a question is effective. “You might consider this’ or “Do you think that would work?”
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Part 4: Principle 3
“Talk About Your Own Mistakes First”: A person has made a mistake but it’s no worse than many you have made. We are not born with experience. Humility and praise can help you and me in our daily contacts.
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People without Offense or Arousing Resentment.
Part 4: Principle 2
“How to Criticize – And Not Be Hated For It”: by diverting attention from a mistake and indirectly suggesting a solutions, harm can be avoided.
Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Part 3: Principle 12
“When Nothing Else Works, Try This”: all people have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometime to death, but always to victory. Overcome your fears. Have the desire to excel.
Principle 12: Throw down a challenge.
Part 3: Principle 11
“The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You Do It?”: This is the age of dramatization; merely stating a truth isn’t enough. Act out your ideas in an explicit way.
Principle 11: Dramatize Your Ideas.
Part 3: Principle 10
“An Appeal that Everybody Likes”: there are two reasons for people doing something; one that sounds good and a real one. Always assume that the person is honest, truthful and willing to discharge their obligations (bill paying).
Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
Part 3: Principle 9
“What Everybody Wants”: sympathy is crucial to wining people’s approval. Turn criticism directed at you into overwhelming sympathy for the person levying the attack. The attacker will then have no choice but sympathize with you after maintaining such poise.
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with other person’s ideas and desire.
Part 3: Principle 8
“A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You”: try to understand an opinion that seems wrong; only wise, tolerant and exceptional people can to that. Put yourself in their perspective. You should prefer to walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what you are going to say and what the person- from your knowledge of his or her interests and motives- was likely to answer.
Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Part 3: Principle 7
“How to Get Cooperation”: plant an idea in someone’s head casually, so as to get them thinking about it on their own. People love to claim ideas as their own. Let them do so to an extent.
Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Part 3: Principle 6
“The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints”: never interject in conversation. Let the other person do the talking. People love to boast about themselves, allow them to talk as much as possible.
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.