Cannabis Nutrition Facts Valeur nutritive Per dosage/ per gram Amount % Daily Value Teneur % value quotidienne Paranoia 110 Slowing of time 50 Grey-matter membrane converted to fat 0.00009 Psychotic thoughts 1 Sexual thoughts 0 Objective, qualified thoughts 0
Not a significant source of saturated knowledge, true happiness, mental stability, vitamin A, vitamin B, calcium or love. Has been proven to cause short bursts of happiness with long-term personal anguish. Long-term use (as little as one second) may cause lung cancer, impotency, graving for sugar based products, disassociation, social ineptitude, phobias, mental disorders such as dyslexia, obsession with Kung Fu movies and the inability to love in a meaningful and profound way. Have been proven to reduced human potential and stagnates intellectual growth. Other more serious illnesses include psychotic thoughts, urge to harm others. Oh and possiblity of a long-term career at McDonald’s.
Should have warned you that this was heavy-handed and only mildly cool. AND ironic because I’m high right now….just joking.
Like any decent blog worth reading, I’ve injected a tiny pet story. It’s make believe. Though, I hear the dog is real.
Finnegan’s Tail: Or Finnegan the Astronaut Terrier Motto: “As this is our world, you should be pleased that we have allowed you to live in it. Terrier POWER!”
Call me Finnegan. In previous lives after reincarnations I was known by the names and description of Charles Dickens, Wolfgang Mozart, and I had a short appearance in the mortal world as a pathetic turtle named “Pooh”. My terrier parents, I do not know. I do know that my father was a traveler. He was born on the British Isles and spent sometime with drug smugglers in Columbia *see picture of father on crack wearing a bandana*. My mother, I shall never know of in any detail. OOhhhhh, how I wish I could speak to her now!!!
I was born in a Petshop on another Island they called Montreal. I do not know why it was given that name but if it has anything to do with the large hill on the island, then I understand because that is an exceptional landmark and is truly worth peeing on. People want to own everything. Everything including me. I was for sale at the my birthplace when an English woman saved me from the grasps of spoiled little French girl named Clarisse. My doom would have been certain with an irresponsible girl who would have me quickly replaced and forgotten in the event of my demise. Taken away from my birthplace, we fled closer to the large mountain. And I lived for sometime in a towering cage house. The hallways were erie with tiny voices whispering in my ears as I passed the doors along the corridor. The one they call Max was a particularly antagonistic fellow, he would message my head until I’d be tempted to asleep but he’d also tease me into attacking a tiny bear I call ‘the fluffy bastard’. My attempts to kill the bear by humping him failed miserably. I myself was almost killed by a French terrier who spoke broken English to me and smelt terribly. He was on the rooftop where I was often taken. To be continued…after the jump….
